


My North Star

by FandomWritingsGalore



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Abandonment, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Blood, Cutting, Depression, Doctor Who References, Eleventh Doctor Era, Razors, Tenth Doctor Era, dw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 10:11:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16890597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomWritingsGalore/pseuds/FandomWritingsGalore
Summary: Requested Prompt: Reader cuts herself secretly because she is anxious about her being without him someday. (They’re not a couple) she despairs because she can’t be happy even when she’s happy because of her fears.





	My North Star

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings! Alludes to previous cutting, depression, blood, razor blade, abandonment mention.

You looked down at your wrist and absentmindedly ran your hand across the old faded scars. Traveling with the Doctor had seemed to bring you out of the dark place you’d called home for so long like nothing else had.

But you knew it couldn’t last. The day would come where he would leave. You didn’t blame him. He’d had companions before you and he’d have more after, but it still broke your heart to know you would one day have to just suddenly give up this incredible life of exploring the stars with that mad man and his beautiful blue box.

You tried your damnedest not to dwell on this fact, and embrace every adventure but it was always that nagging negative voice in the back of your mind tauntingly reminding you this would all come to a close and you’d be even lower than before.   
So, you put on that fake smile you’d perfected so well and pushed on, not for yourself, but for him. Your doctor. Because you didn’t want him to see the swirling chaos you housed inside.

You glanced at the razor blade resting on the bathroom sink. Your mind has been betraying you as of late and you constantly thought about when the time you come. Would today finally be the day he wouldn’t be waiting at your door in those red converse waiting to rush you off into another crazy ride? 

You picked up the blade and ran you thumb across it lightly. You hadn’t done this in so long and it made you even more upset with yourself because you wanted to release the pain in side you so much and this was the only way you knew how.

“Y/N!” You jumped at the voice and dropped the blade into the sink. The Doctor was earlier than usual and you tried to stop yourself from shaking as you heard his approaching steps in your hall.

“I just had the most brilliant idea and I think you’re going to love it.“ His enthusiastic voice was outside your bathroom door. “But we have to leave right now.”

“Just- just a minute.” Your voice cracked as you tried to pick up the razor but you couldn’t stop your hands from trembling long enough to do so.

“What’s wrong?” The Doctor had heard the way your voice sounded so strained and immediately knew something was wrong. “Y/N, open the door right now.”

You yelped in pain as the blade nicked your thumb and he swung open the door.

He looked from you to the blade and the blood trickling in the sink and pieced things together faster than you could blink. His inhaled sharply and immediately moved to hug you. You could feel the vibrations from his chest as he sighed, “Oh, Y/N.” With just those two words, you fell apart in his arms.

He moved you both to sit on the floor against the tub as he comforted you, stroking your hair..

“What’s happened?” he asked softly after your sobs subsided.

You tried to speak over the lump in your throat, “It hasn’t happened yet. It’s what will happen eventually.”

He stayed quiet waiting for you to continue. You wiped the remaining tears from your eyes and tried to sit up to look at him.

“One day you’re going to leave me.” You felt the familiar sting in the corner of your eyes. “I just wanted to not think about it for a little while. About you forgetting me.”

He narrowed his eyes and took both of your scarred wrists in his hands. “I can’t promise that one day we won’t travel together anymore.” You looked down and felt that familiar encroaching darkness blurring your vision. He shook your wrists to get you to look back at him. “But I can promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure we do. I will never ever leave you. And I swear that I will never forget you. I couldn’t.” 

You met his sparkling eyes, “You’re more than my best friend. You’re my compass, guiding and reminding me why I decided to become a doctor in the first place…to help people. People who don’t see how much potential they have, and how much they’re loved. People like  _you_.”

He tilted your chin up and kissed your forehead. His warm lips released the tension in your heart and as you listened to his hearts you could feel your fears escaping your veins in a way the blade never could.

“You’re my North Star, Y/N.”

**Author's Note:**

> This went a little differently and probably shorter than asked, but I wanted to make sure I wrote something for this to try and cheer up the reader who requested it.


End file.
